Disappointment after disappointment

I've learnt one thing recently that is don't put all hopes on something until things are all confirmed because things will not turn out the way you want them to be. I have always let myself into fantasy when there's plans to go travelling but i have always got disappointed in the end.

Of all the hard work that i put in looking for accommodation/plane ticktes/places of interest, a simple statement of rejection is more than just words. It really hurts you hell lots. Why should i put up with this? The only reason i can think of is because people don't take this as seriously as i do. When I say i want to do it means i want to. Don't take me for granted and I hate being taken granted for....i don't voice out my anger doesn't mean that i can be pushed to my limits.

I think i had enough of disappointment since last year. Seriously i had enough because my effort is not being appreciated and i hate being disappointed in the end. The feeling is really really bad and sometimes i really really have considered going backpacking myself because it's almost impossible to get somebody to travel with you for all various reasons. I just realized that i am started to dislike people who don't keep the promises that they made...

Bulk buying

From the heavy influence of the Aussie culture, i realized that i have developed the habit of what we all known as the "housewife syndrome" or the "bulk billing" phenomenon. For short --- you can call it "stingy" in a way!

I went shopping yesterday for groceries as per usual and noticed that OMO; one of the most expensive detergent available in Australia, is on clearance sale. "Save 2.77" per box catches my eye straightaway like a diamond attracts a woman. The "housewife syndrome" immediately kicked in and i started to feel excited with blood gushing up to my

brain. Without much considerationg, me and my housemate started to fill our shopping trolley with 4 boxes of the super cheap, cannot find such prices elsewhere of OMO detergent. However, this doesn't really satisfy our "hunger" towards cheap bargains. We noticed that there were somemore boxes available on the top shelf and without fail, we managed to put 8 boxes in our shopping trolley (basically clearning whatever available on the shelf) and walked away happily.

People love cheap bargains, especially housewifes or gals with housewife syndrome (I am one of it). The question is, do we need so much? I admit sometimes i get carried away but till now, my estimation is still quite accurate and haven't had the record of throwing away things that i have bought too much! I knew people who did that though. The wordings "sale" or "buy 2 for the price of 1" and "buy 3 for 5" can be a killer because the irrational bit of the brain takes over and people tends to buy impulsively. Like me, coles is selling Kleenex 2 for $12 yesterday and i've bought 24 toilet rolls in the end. Now my toilet is filled with 8 boxes of omo, >24 rolls of toilet paper, 3 bottels of shampoo and 2 bottles of shower gel. I have enough toilet paper to form a mummy! haha!

Friends!

The interaction between friends can be very dynamic at times that i really don't understand. I had this friendship that i built up since beginning of last year and i really thought that we can be considered as quite close friends from my perspective. However, friendships doesn't go two way equally. Imposing the law of physice, there is action and reaction in the terms of friendship but i don't really think that equilibrium can be obtained necessarily and that is what had happened to my friendship recently. I realized that my friend has got along very well with another friend of mine whom they only knew not long after being introduced via me. They have formed such great friendship together that i realized that i was out of the equation already. This is quite depressing as I realized that I wasn't really counted as my friend's close friend at all even though that i have put in a lot of effort in maintaining this friendship. The chinese adage - you harvest whatever that you plant; it doesn't really work that way. I felt like a little idiot sometimes. Why do i want to bother maintaining this friendship when in fact i wasn't really in your good books? Should i really care? Or should i be angry at myself for believing that i can be your friend?

Too good to be true

Don't get your hopes too high sometimes, the higher your hopes is the greater the disappointment can be. 

All these while, i've been trying to find a travel companion because one of my resolution this year is to travel and i really really want to go since i haven't been anywhere since last Beijing trip year 2007. When one of my friends ask me one day if i want to go travelling with her this August, I was so happy and really really thought that my prayers was met. I was so pumped that i went checking out tickets/accommodations/travelling guides, thinking that this is all so good to the extent that i really really couldn't believe it. Honestly, it's really too good 

to be true because now my friend told me again that she might not be able to go back due to swine flu reasons. I was really really devastated because all these while i've been trying to search for friends to go travelling with me. It's hard to get everyone to get leav

e at the same time or it could be distance purpose as i am in Australia and my good friends are everywhere in this world or a difficulty in reaching consensus. Up to this age, i realized that it's really hard to find a travel companion. It's just me who is a bit naive thought that this can really be happening. 

                                                                                                                                                                         
Hong Kong ---- I really want to visit you...but i do not know when i can do that! But i am sure one day i'll be there....don worry! 

Take it easy in life..there's lots to enjoy!

I am very excited and happy today...the exponential increase in adrenaline in my body made me in a ridiculously good mood today and of course in such good circumstance, shopping is the best leisure time that i can think of to spend my lazy sunday. :) Therefore, i headed off to the DFO at Southern Cross with a determination to find something that i like. I am really really happy now because i've found a skinny leg jeans and a pair of boots that i like. However, i've still haven't bought it yet because i am waiting for a second opinion from my friends. Nevertheless, i am still in such great mood that nothing at the moment can make me pissed of. Hahaha...

At this moment, looking back at my previous blog entry, i realized that probably complaints mostly arises from not being contented in life. I know it myself that i want a lot of things at the moment. I should probably take things easy in life and that way i'll be happier. I have to look at things from the positive side from now on. :)

Complaints versus expressions of feelings

Up to this moment, it never came across to me that i may be annoying to somebody because i talk too much about things. I just realized that to somebody, i am actually complaining a lot about things and it struck me that i may be presenting to be quite annoying at times. What a shocker! I always thought that i was sharing my personal life experiences/thoughts/opinion all these while to my friends/family and on the other hand, all the listener wants to do is to shut my mouth up. I do recall times when i get annoyed at people for complaining too much and here am i, doing the same thing over and over again until being told of recently. This left me not really sure of what to say/do already. Am i being overly reactive that i tell people too much? Or should i just shut up and don't say a thing any all because people are just not so interested? 

The inner side of me

My "baking" side of me has truly well taken over for the past few weeks. It has been non-stop baking week after week and i really felt the guilt now as i think i've put on weight from eating too many "junk" food recently. The rush of chocolate craze from easter, the growing apetite from the increasing cold weather and not to mention my cravings for different food are the culprites. Nevertheless, i enjoyed my baking a lot and i think it's all about the balance of trying to bake and at the same time maintain my current weight. Over the long easter holidays, i have the sudden urge to bake Orea cheesecake. My friends has been long awaiting for this day as we are all big fans of the club called "DESSERTS". I've started off by coarsely grinding the oreo cookies with my fingers and i realized that why on earth didn't I get a food processor which would make life easier for me? Seriously, to make Oreo crumbs is like a never ending job that particular morning as i have to grind a total of 2 Oreo packets. My goodness, by the time i've finished that task, my thumbs are numb from the constant repetitive action. However, my effort pays off when everyone gave me the thumbs up for my OREO CHEESECAKE. 

    Look at the filling - 2 blocks of cream cheese and 2 packages of Oreo (Indulgence of guilt) 

After promising my housemate on making a lunch roll for her since last year, 

i've finally got all ingredients and found the perfect mood/time to make one for her. My colleague at MPH made it for me once and i fell in love with the delicious combination of vege and cheese. I know that the roll sounds v

egetarian and it's not like something that i would opt for at first sight. However, i immediately wanted more after having the first bite of it and i've finally made it 2 days ago. It's a puff pastry with spinach and ricotta cheese in it. Sounds fatty but then i think it's quite healthy. It doesn't need much oil to cook it with. 

I can only rate this masterpiece of mine as an average after tasting it. 

It's not as delicious as i thought it would be i think i'll need to work on it again to level up myself. Probably this weekend! My inner side again now warning me of my "GUILT" again...

I am heading off to another hospital to work next week. This hospital reminds me of the hospital back in KK --- Grotty, smelly and scary. I sometimes do contradict myself a lot. I hate my future workplace coz of the poor working environment but then i think the work will be not as stressful where as my current workplace is a lot cleaner/spacious; however work can be stressful at times especially the manager is always trying to be "Tom Cruise" and stay cool most of the time. Now that im transferring to another hospital, i miss my current workplace so much recently that i hope to stay put there. What irony! I guess life goes on...life goes on!